Who Am I?

That’s sort of the question that got me off my ass to start this blog. I’m not sure what will become of this project. Maybe it’ll end up collecting dust, remaining inactive for months or years at a time, leaving another unfinished reminder of my own inability to express myself consistently to an audience or readership for an extended period of time. In that event, I’ll probably discontinue service through my web host and erase all memory of this place. I hope that’s not the case.

The point of this blog is, as the name implies, to become more secure in my thoughts and by extension, myself. I don’t know if I’m comfortable connecting this blog to my real-life identity right out the gate, so I will leave it at this: my last name is often associated with security or assurance, though ironically, I find myself devoid of these virtues when it comes to my own sense of identity. It’s my hope that, in writing out my thoughts and confronting my fears and anxieties, I’ll be able to establish a deeper sense of self.

I don’t want the random reader who may encounter this to assume my blog will be composed of self-pity and woe-is-me bullshit. Compared to many people in this world, I have been very fortunate in where I’ve ended up, and I truly can’t complain. Nonetheless, like all other people, I’m no stranger to hardship or the crushing weight of existential dread. Having a job that pays my bills (mostly) is nice, but I feel like I’ve hit my quarter life and have no accomplishments that define me. There’s so much more I want to do in this world, and the only way I can do even a fraction of it is by exploring my thoughts. If I’m lucky, someone will read my meandering essays and resonate, and I’ll find I’m not so alone in the world.

Thank you so much if you’ve read this far. I’m really excited to work on this page. I’m still getting a feel for this, so be sure to come back to see what I come up with.